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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

'Tis The Season For Christmas Slashers [Anna H's Review]

How's it going lurkers? As I already said in the previous Song Saturday blog, I have a blog review about Christmas Slashers.

With me being so busy doing last minute Christmas shopping, watching Christmas Slashers, etc. I did not have enough time to publish my review, sooner.

Orthodox Christians don't celebrate Christmas Day, until January 7, 2015.

Therefore, I'm sharing my Christmas Slasher Review today.

Since last Monday morning, I watched a few Christmas Slashers. 

Last year, I only watched Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972) and the 2012 remake of Silent Night, Deadly Night. 

On Monday morning, I watched Black Christmas (1974) and Tuesday I watched Christmas Evil (1980).

These Slashers have year gaps between them, and they will be reviewed in chronological order.

Just a quick reminder, I am somewhat biased against these Christmas Slashers mostly because I expected for them to actually frighten me.

1) Silent Night, Bloody Night Trailer (1972)

 
Theodore Gershuny's Silent Night, Bloody Night was originally released as Night Of The Dark Full Moon and is also known as Death House.

Silent Night, Bloody Night was filmed in 1972 but was shelved for 2 years. It was not until 1974 that the Slasher was released in the movie theaters. Silent Night, Bloody Night takes place on Christmas Eve 1950. 

Wilfred Butler returns to his mansion only to discover that it was turned into a mental institution for the criminally insane. 

That same day, Wilfred is shown running outside his mansion, while on fire soon collapsing to his supposed death in the snow. The towns people believe that Wilfred's death was accidental and his mansion is shut down.

About 22 years later, lawyer John Carter and his assistant Ingrid arrive in a small Massachusetts town. He meets with the town's nobles, Mayor Adams, Sheriff Bill Mason, Tess Howard, and Charlie Towman. John is revealed to be Jeffrey Butler's lawyer. 

Jeffrey is Wilfred Butler's grandson. Jeffrey Butler tries selling the Butler mansion for $50,000 by noon the next day.

After John Carter calls his wife, it has been revealed that he is cheating on her with his ASSISTANT, Ingrid. John and Ingrid stay the night at the Butler mansion for dinner and sex. During sex, they are slaughtered in bed with an axe!

Then, the killer calls the police station's phone operator (Tess) in a low, muffled voice. The killer claims to be "Marianne."

Watching Silent Night, Bloody Night last December bored me. If memory serves me right, I started dosing off at my keyboard just watching it.

The film's trailer, dark and spooky night scenery, the voyeurism, music score, menacing phone calls, and Wilfred Butler's low, muffled voice were creepy. Otherwise, Silent Night, Bloody Night was very slow and boring.

2) Black Christmas Trailer (1974)

Bob Clark is best known for creating Porky's and A Christmas Story. Most don't know, that he created Black Christmas. The movie was originally titled Silent Night, Evil Night.

As a filmmaker, Bob Clark had versatility. Black Christmas was literally created 9 years before A Christmas Story. Those 2 Christmas movies were from completely different film genres, which is fascinating.

Black Christmas is revered as 1 of the original Christmas Slashers. Not only is this considered to be 1 of the original Christmas Slashers, but it also contributed to the launching of the Slasher Genre.

In fact, John Carpenter was inspired by Black Christmas, which is why Halloween exists today.

Silent Night, Evil Night (Black Christmas) takes place in a sorority house with promiscuous sorority girls preparing for Christmas Break. As they are having their Christmas Party, they start receiving strange and obscene phone calls. They automatically assume it's a prank caller.

All the while, Barb taunts their sorority sister, Clare for being a virgin. Clare becomes so annoyed with Barb's insults, that she goes to pack her clothes in her room. Suddenly, their housemother's meowing cat appears.

Clare starts hearing strange noises, is smothered to death from behind with a clothing bag, and is carried to the attic. Her corpse is later propped in the attic's rocking chair RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW! Supposedly, no one knows what happened to Clare. Her sorority assumes, that she is MISSING.

The characters in Black Christmas annoyed me. They are depicted as obnoxious, stupid, and morally depraved sorority girls, including the so-called "heroine," who wants to abort she and her boyfriend, Peter's baby.

After the harassing phone calls, tapping of the phone wires, and the investigation, no one caught the serial killer!

The movie's trailer, harassing phone calls, ominous film score, the red herring character (Peter), Billy's Doberman colored eyes peeping through the door, his hidden appearance, and the camera angles, pans, and zooms were all creepy. Otherwise, Black Christmas didn't frighten me. I was highly disappointed.

Gee, I guess "my skin IS on too tight."

3) Christmas Evil (1980)

This 1980 Christmas Slasher was originally released as You Better Watch Out and is also known as Terror In Toyland.

I could not help rolling my eyes, while laughing at this Christmas Slasher. Watching Christmas Evil was a joke! The YouTube vlogger, Dr. Wolfula does a better job at reviewing THIS movie than I could ever do without laughing hysterically behind my keyboard.

Dr. Wolfula's Christmas Evil Review (2010)

Harry, a deranged toymaker at Jolly Dreams wasted 33 YEARS of his life being traumatized over his daddy role playing as Santa Claus and I assume he watched some tongue action under his mommy's nightgown, then threw a tantrum and broke his snow globe only to cut himself? OMG! THIS IS TOO HILARIOUS FOR WORDS!!!

Was Daddy the so-called "Clit Commander" dressed as Santa on Christmas Eve?

Regardless, Harry's Santaphobia was and still is hilarious. 

Had Christmas Evil's filmmaker been more clever with possibly showing Harry accidentally walking in on his mother moaning from mind shattering orgasms, during sex with his father, or if he witnessed his mother being beaten and/or raped, his trauma would've been MORE convincing and realistic. None of what I mentioned was shown in Christmas Evil.

If any of those situations could've been demonstrated to the audience without the child actor being on the set for the scene years ago, Harry's trauma would've been more convincing.

He became a deranged, mass murderer because Daddy was caressing Mommy's thigh under her nightgown, while being a CUNNING LINGUIST  in a Santa costume!

OH NO! I saw Daddy dressed as Santa Claus, while doing weird things under Mommy's nightgown by the Christmas Tree! So traumatizing! Now, I have SANTAPHOBIA!!!

Harry's bizarre behavior, his Santa memorabilia, the music score, and the film's trailer were the only creepy qualities about Christmas Evil. Watching Harry murder 3 church parishioning bullies in front of everyone on the stair steps made me laugh so hard, I cried hysterically.

That's besides him smothering and slitting his co-workers' throats with a knife, as well as flying into the moonlight like a scene out of E.T. with his SANTAMOBILE.

Harry may have been a creepy and deranged stalker taking on the constant roles of being Santa Claus, but overall, I just could NOT  take Christmas Evil seriously.

4) Silent Night, Deadly Night Trailer (1984)

The original Silent Night, Deadly Night was notorious for its controversial Slasher trailer 30 years ago. There were 3 Christmas Slashers, which existed years BEFORE Silent Night, Deadly Night was created. However, it was the most condemned and demonized.

Militant, Stay-At-Home Mommies and Christian zealots protested on the streets and literally called Tri-Star Films to have Silent Night, Deadly Night banned NATIONWIDE.

Siskel and Ebert persecuting the filmmaker contributed to Silent Night, Deadly Night's bannings from theaters after its 1st week. Here's something really interesting. Both A Nightmare On Elm Street and Silent Night, Deadly Night released on November 9, 1984.

Silent Night, Deadly Night outperformed A Nightmare On Elm Street; On the same day, it blew A Nightmare On Elm Street out the water!

My family claimed years ago, that parents took their children to watch it in the movie theaters. Other sources claimed, that the trailer was advertised, during times when children were watching TV.

After watching Silent Night, Deadly Night last week on Christmas morning, I was disappointed.

The opening for Silent Night, Deadly Night was phenomenal yet cheesy all at once. A little boy sang, as the movie's title rushed onto the screen with animated blood being splattered.

On Christmas Eve 1971, the 7-year-old Billy Chapman and his family go to visit his institutionalized grandfather. Billy's grandfather is supposedly "catatonic." The doctor escorts Billy's parents to review his grandfather's records. 

Suddenly, Billy's grandfather traumatizes him about Christmas and Santa Claus. He starts telling Billy that Santa punishes naughty boys and girls.

After witnessing his "catatonic" grandfather's disturbing behavior, while hearing his grandfather's grisly secret about Christmas, Billy's Santaphobia is soon born.

Yes, Santaphobia really does exist. It's also a main contributor to Silent Night, Deadly Night's plot.

Billy was already traumatized by his grandfather and is soon subjected to more trauma. 

Down the road, a robber dressed as Santa Claus robbed a liquor store, while shooting the clerk dead. That same robber kills Billy's father, shortly after.

The robber proceeds to rape Billy's mother and slits her throat with a knife. Once Billy witnesses this traumatic incident, he is placed in an orphanage where he is subjected to more trauma and physical abuse by Mother Superior.

Whenever Billy witnesses people having sex, he automatically views it as rape.

Witnessing a co-worker being raped by another co-worker, after being forced to dress as Santa Claus for work triggers Billy's serial killing spree.

I spent more time sympathizing and empathizing with Billy Chapman than any character.  

Silent Night, Deadly Night's music score, highly misleading trailer, Billy's grandfather, the antique toy soldiers, and Santa Claus decorations creeped me out. Overall, this Christmas Slasher barely scared me; It didn't make me jump out my skin watching it. 

I kept bracing myself for a scare, but the scares failed to deliver for me. I am starting to believe that I have become desensitized to Horror. 

Then again, Silent Night, Deadly Night's trailer STILL manages to give me goosebumps even after watching the entire movie. 

Seriously, how can trailers for Horror movies be more frightening than the actual movies? Does that make any sense?

Whoever put its movie trailer together should've made this highly controversial Christmas Slasher more appalling. All that outrage and protesting to have Silent Night, Deadly Night banned in '84 for NOTHING.

Talk about a HUGE disappointment.

5) Silent Night Trailer (2012)

OMG! This Christmas Slasher is nothing like the original Silent Night, Deadly Night. This remake doesn't even have a real story to it.

The serial killer's Santa Claus mask is frightening, whereas everything else is extremely contrived. I nearly fell off my bed from laughing hysterically at Silent Night, last Christmas Eve.

Watching the killer Santa literally tase that bratty 12-year-old pill popper to death still is hilarious and the best part of the entire movie.

I discussed Silent Night with my friend, Charlie JJ Kruger from Horror-Punks.com, 2 months ago. Charlie agreed with me about this Slasher being terrible. He is not lying. Silent Night was a Shit Sandwich.

Out of all 5 Christmas Slashers, Silent Night, Deadly Night is the best in my opinion and Black Christmas creeps behind it. 

Even though neither Christmas Slasher frightened me, I believe casual viewers will be, especially for those who are easily scared of Horror. 

Silent Night, Deadly Night is more convincing and has a better plot in regards to Billy Chapman's serial killing spree.

Meanwhile, Billy's entire physical appearance in Black Christmas (not to be confused with Billy Chapman) is never shown.

We only know that Black Christmas' Billy is a stalker/serial killer. That in itself is enough to scare people, since stalkers and serial killers really do exist.

If you happen to watch these Christmas Slashers (you can YouTube them all for free), let me know what you think!

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